Excellent Cancer Survivor Movie

An excellent 14 minute movie with young people and their powerful stories of cancer – many wise words in their stories!  I absolutely loved it!

Ebb & Flow: Storytelling for Cancer Survivors

 

Time for Firsts Again

Last night I went out to our company Christmas dinner and party.  I had a nice time socializing and drinking some wine   and then this morning I realized, last night was the first time since 2007, the year I was diagnosed with the big C, that I have gone out socially!

I racked my brain once and then I racked it twice, I had to think, has it really been that long?

I am amazed,  since I was re-diagnosed, survived a year of treatments and so on and so on, of how time just seems to get away from you, it has for me at least!  I cannot believe that it has been 4 years since I have socialized!  And that says a lot – I use to be a regular ol’ social butterfly before the big C and became a happy hermit ツ

Truly I was a happy hermit, I liked being home, beading, reading and woodcarving more then being around people, plus I was tired so much that I had to use my “activity energy stores” wisely.  You know what I’m talking about, those of you who are still battling fatigue from treatments.  You have to chose what activity you want to do and do well before getting tired.  It doesn’t leave much room for running around being a social butterfly does it?

Anyhoos, I’m glad I went!  It has been too long since I’ve mingled with the masses and had a glass of wine or two, may this be the first of many firsts! ٩(^,^)۶

To Be Well

To be well again would be the cat’s pajamas!  Not that I’m sick and yucky like I was in chemo (blah!), but you know, I just don’t have that pep in my step any more, and that’s what I want to find, is that pep.

I remember when I was in chemotherapy I hated it when people would come to me with all kinds of “home-remedies” “folk-remedies” or “natural-remedies” to help me deal with the cancer and chemotherapy.  It use to piss me off as a matter of fact, I use to think who are you to know more than my Oncologist or my care team?  Who are you to tell ME what to do? LOL  I think that’s what it came down to in the long run, when you’re going through treatments, everyone is telling you what to do and any opportunity to control what you did, what you took, was fiercely guarded!

Anyhoos, this rambling was to share a resource I found at the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center’s website, it lists herbs, botanicals and other products.    It “provides evidence-based information about herbs, botanicals, supplements, and more.”  And I think this is important so I’m sharing it with you:

About Herbs, Botanical and Other Products

Now as with anything (the disclaimer) you need to share what you’re taking with your Oncology team and/or medical provider so that you do not hurt yourself or hinder your treatments or healing, OK?

Here’s to healing!

 

Courage then, and Courage still

I’ve spent the last four years writing about dancing with cancer, about having courage and hope even when I didn’t feel it myself.  I wrote about treatments, reconstruction, depression, side-effects, losing friends to this #%@$ disease,  hope and transitioning from patient to survivor.  I have 4 years of posts that seem like I wrote them a million years ago…

• November 2007 – I was just beginning cancer treatments…
• November 2008 – I just finished a year of treatments.
• November 2009 – Just had reconstruction surgery…
• November 2010 I had nothing to say…

And here I am November 2011, 3 years out from my last treatment and I’m doing so much better, I’m still not healthy as I need to be, I’m tired, my joints ache, but I’m happy to be here.  I have learned to pace myself and focus my energy and time on my family and on myself.  I also am a firm believer in naps especially since I tire so easy and naps enable me to put in a full day, and that’s A-OK right now, I’m OK with having to live life in the slow land for now…

It is always one foot in front of the other my friends, and to all those who are dancing with cancer, I wish you peace, strength and wellness.
Laura

Cancer I Hate You

Here is a powerful story of a young cancer survivor I lost one of my best friends to cancer, she was only 31 after battling cancer for almost three years.  I hate cancer and may we soon stop this #@% disease!

Cancer’s Most Isolated Patients

There is an organization that is devoted to young cancer survivors: http://stupidcancer.com/about/index.shtml and they also have a blog up for young survivors: http://blog.stupidcancer.com/

Sending prayers to all who are dancing with cancer…

8 minutes ago · LikeUnlike ·

Baby Roller

I’m going to go and join a cancer support group – it’s funny after 3 years that I finally have to break down and join one, but my fear of recurrence is getting the better of me – the last time I had cancer, I was diagnosed 3 years after the first time I had it and I think that’s why I’m getting kinda scared again.   When I posted the other day that it has been 3 years since I had my mediport taken out, it hit me like a ton of bricks, ITS THREE YEARS.  Am I going to have a clean mammogram when I go in next month?  Am I going to have a clean mammogram this time?  Jiminy Crickets, thoughts like this are enough to drive a good woman over the deep end.

Also because of my work, I read and write about cancer all the time, and when I read about BRCA and gene-testing yesterday, the thought that I may have possibly passed down the cancer gene to my daughter made me not think too clearly.  I’ve always known there’s the possibility, but still, I don’t think about it too often.  Here’s the article about cancer gene-testing:

http://www.ktvq.com/news/two-time-breast-cancer-survivor-diagnosed-with-cancer-gene

So between the 3-year mark and reading cancer news that doesn’t make me happy, its making me loony tunes.  So off to the support group I go, until I can get off this baby roller coaster.  Sometimes, cancer makes me weirder than I already am

p.s. 4  years ago yesterday, I was on a much larger roller coaster (http://laurasjourney.com/2007/10/24/whoa/), so I am making progress!

Self-Reflection

"No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see." ~ Taoist proverb

It is time to let my soul catch up with me, I’ve been at hittin’ the road hard since I had my mediport removed 3 years and 1 week ago.  I’m back in Alaska, I left WA to return home about 3 weeks ago, I was running out of energy and had no time to really slow down and heal.  I also missed my friends and family something fierce.

I do not regret moving to WA when I was trying to heal from my cancer treatments.  It gave me time away from the place where I had my treatments, physically and mentally.   It also gave me a once in a lifetime opportunity to work with, and help, other Alaska Native and American Indian cancer survivors.  I am grateful that I was able to meet and work with so many First Nations’ people to try and change the story of cancer for our communities, just saying this makes me feel honored and strong.

It was great being on such a big adventure, however, I needed to come home so that I can finish healing and be surrounded by people that I care about and who care about me.  My journey to wellness has been slow, some of this has to do with the pace I set for myself and some of it has to do with the after effects of one year of cancer treatments.  Some days it makes me wonder if I will ever free of cancer and it’s treatments, of it’s hold over my body, my mind, my emotions.  I know I will be some day, but some days I can’t help but wonder and frustrate over…  When?  I Thank the Creator that those days are the minority and not the majority!

I’m going to shift this blog story to healing and advocating for better understanding that once you are done with your cancer treatments, you’re really not done.  You still have to learn to deal with the aftermath and to accept how your body and mind has been changed by cancer and it’s treatments…

Here’s another survivor’s story about the “after effects” of cancer.  One of my favorite quotes from it is: “Going through treatment and dealing with a life or death situation sets your mind up to deal with the one big problem in your life. Turning that around is nearly impossible.”  Check it out:  http://www.alextimes.com/news/2011/oct/12/when-the-cancers-gone-and-theres-nothi/

Everyone deals with cancer differently.  We are all affected differently.  There is no set time line for healing and at this point, I don’t know if I’ll ever be like “before.”  I reckon I’ll just keep reflecting, keep my eye on how far I have come, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other…
Laura

Is it Real or is it Hollywood?

Has anyone seen 50/50 yet?  New York Times had a good story about it this morning and I like this quote from this story: “One of the messages was that while cancer certainly is life-changing, it doesn’t necessarily change your life.”  I totally agree with this statement and I also agree with this statement “…doesn’t mean that cancer is an “opportunity” or “the best thing that ever happened” to anyone; it isn’t.”  Hear! Hear!  It wasn’t the best thing that happened to me but I do reassess what I’m doing with my life constantly now whereas before I was more que se ra que se ra (and I still fall into que se ra mode every now and then).

Here’s the story:   A Hollywood Movie Takes on Cancer

I’m going to see it this weekend and I’ll report back!

Chemo and your Heart

Both of these articles are from Harvard, one is about the effects of chemo on the heart and the other is how to protect your heart.

“Cancer can be tough on the heart in more ways than one”

“Protecting the heart from cancer therapy”

As a survivor, reading these articles sometimes can be tough on me  And even though it’s tough, it’s better to be informed – how does that saying go, forewarned is forearmed? ๏̯̃๏

One foot in front of the other…

Oncology Follow-Up Visits

Oncology visits are a mixed blessing aren’t they?

This last week I had my follow-up visit with my Oncologist whom I was supposed to see every 3 months, but because I’ve moved out-of-state from where I had my treatments, my care has been sporadic and infrequent.

This sporadic care had me worried because being someone who has danced with cancer twice, you really shouldn’t mess with a lack of follow-up care.  On the other hand, I didn’t stress about the lack of care too much because you know how it is, out of sight out of mind…

Well in this case, no news is good news and NED (no evidence of disease) is still my buddy and this is such a HAPPY RELIEF! ❤  Woo-Wooo!!!

I also didn’t realize how stressful these visits make me, I thought I made peace with it but after my oncology visit I was so relieved and tired I feel asleep for an hour  afterwards, I was so exhausted!  Ding dong!

I have to go back next month though for a Zometa infusion and also to have follow-up on my blood pressure which has been high the last couple of visits hopefully this is not an aftermath of the cancer treatments or the Aromatase Inhibitor I’m on – it has side effects too, including the heart   (see http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/hormonal/aromatase_inhibitors/)

Oh well, always one foot in front of the other, and if I can survive chemo, I can survive this too, it’ll just be one more pain in the who-who in a long list of pain in the who-who’s since this dance with cancer started

Cancer Sure Ain’t for Sissies Now Is It?

I’ve been thinking, cancer sure ain’t for sissies now is it?

Seriously, think about it:

• When you become diagnosed your life becomes a roller coaster ride that is turbo-charged.
• When you go through chemotherapy, you so want off the ride but you’re too scared to do anything so you hang on by a thread.
• When you finish cancer treatments you rejoice then wonder when in the *beep* you are going to feel the “same”?  When you going to stop being scared when you go to the doctors for follow-up?  Or being scared every time you have some kind of symptom?

Jiminy!!!!  You have to be made of tough stuff to put up with all this!!!

I wish I had the answer and I wish I could take away all the pain and fear that travels with cancer, I wish cancer upon no one…

I wish I could say do this and you’ll magically be OK mentally, physically and emotionally, but I can’t, I don’t have the answers, not even for myself.  One moment I can deal with all this craziness and the next moment I feel so overwhelmed and just want to scream, *sigh*

When I was going through chemo, I had to find a focus and go after it with everything I had, and my focus was my kids and that helped me a lot to deal with all this crap that comes with cancer.  I was able to keep putting one foot in front of the other and now that I’m happily 2.5 years out from my last treatment, it appears I need to find a focus again…

I wish you all strength, peace and wellness,

Laura

Internet Radio Show About Living Well with Cancer

I just found out about this, this morning so I haven’t had a chance to listen to it  yet, but I will!  It is an Internet Radio Show about living well with cancer!

“Frankly Speaking About Cancer is the first Internet Talk Radio show on the Voice America™ Network’s Health & Wellness Channel to focus specifically on how to live a better life with cancer.”

Might be worth checking out eh?

http://www.cancersupportcommunity.org/Multimedia/Internet-Radio.aspx